“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon…where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.”
– Saint Francis of Assisi

It takes several minutes for the eyes to adjust to darkness. It also takes a few minutes to adjust to light. The light reflex in the pupils contracts and expands to adjust the amount of light that reaches the retina. In the retina, cone cells perceive color in bright light while rod cells adapt to darkness. Interestingly, it takes much longer to adjust to complete darkness than it does to adjust to full sunlight. 

This, of course, refers to physical properties of darkness and light. I wonder how long it takes for us to adjust to the darkness in our lives. Metaphorically, darkness and light usually refer to opposing sides of the human experience. Whether in religion or literature, darkness usually connotes evil, sadness, war, and despair. Light usually suggests goodness, joy, peace, and hope. But there appears to be no scientific explanation for how we adjust to metaphorical darkness, how we see our way through the darkest moments in our lives.

This year, we have had to adjust to extended periods of darkness. The catastrophic loss of life from the COVID-19 pandemic, the disproportionate impact on people of color, and the inescapable images of racial injustice and police brutality have all made many of our days darker and our nights more sleepless. Many others have experienced illness, loss of employment, food insecurity, and numerous other challenges. The mental health ramifications have been severe for those who have confronted bereavement, isolation, despair, and fear. For many, this year has been one long dark night of the soul, in the words of St. John of the Cross, a spiritual crisis that tests our faith and makes us question all that we believe.

It is with this backdrop that we entered this season of lights this month in 2020. Advent, in my faith tradition, is a season of waiting and expectation before Christmas. From the Latin word adventus, which means “arrival” or “coming,” it is a time when we rehearse the ancient longing for a Savior. Every year during Advent, we retell the story, quoting the prophet Isaiah and others who speak of coming out of darkness into light. We gather. We light an Advent candle for each of the four weeks, symbolizing hope, love, joy, and peace. We look for a bright star to guide us to the Christ-child. We hold candlelight services on Christmas Eve. We light the Christ candle to symbolize Christ’s entrance into the world. We are people of the light. We walk in the light.

But this year, we are unable to gather, even as the pandemic death toll climbs higher and higher and as poverty and food insecurity impact more families. This year, the darkness threatens to overwhelm us. And we ask, how can we find the light?

Look for the Gift in the Darkness

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver

Before we find the light, let us take a moment to look for the gift in the darkness. I would love to know the story behind poet Mary Oliver’s poignant words. But I don’t have to know her story to know that love and life often give us boxes full of darkness. I immediately think of the death of my mother a few years ago, along with the loss of other beloved family members. I also painfully remember broken relationships, misunderstandings, mistakes, and regrets. I also daily confront my own challenges with autoimmune disease and disability.

We long to leave the darkness, but if we pause just a moment, we discover that there are valuable lessons learned in the darkness. In times of darkness, we often learn new things about ourselves. We learn what we are made of. In the dark, we are often forced to let go of that which can no longer be part of our journey, but therein, new possibilities reveal themselves and lead in new directions. New relationships and new paths are often discovered in the darkness. A life purpose can be found in the midst of darkness. In Chinese philosophy, the concept of Yin and Yang refers to how opposing forces can coexist and actually complement each other. This may explain how insight may be more readily obtained in darkness rather than light. Perhaps it is only in darkness that we can find the light. It is understandable to long for the light, but do not miss the gift that can only be obtained in darkness.

Look Up in the Darkness

“The people who walk in darkness have seen a great light”
– Isaiah 9:2a

While writing this post, I took a break and opened my social media apps. I quickly noticed that almost every other post was an image of the night sky. People were pausing from their evening routines to look up in the sky and take pictures. This crazy year that brought us unimaginable suffering is also the same year that Saturn and Jupiter reunite in the night sky for the first time in 800 years, on December 21, the winter solstice. Some of the images are so clear that you can see Saturn’s rings and Jupiter’s moons. In response to the rare conjunction, the hashtag #ChristmasStar is trending. On this, the longest night of the longest year, the brightest ‘star’ appears.

Over 2,000 years after the Magi followed a star, it is still true that looking up can bring us hope. Looking up to something bigger than ourselves, bigger than our circumstances, and bigger than our pain can give us perspective. It can remind us that the universe has a rhythm and synchronicity that we may never fully understand. It can remind us of the mystery that even in darkness, Emanuel, God is with us and God still has a plan.

And just as the planets move in space and time, we know also that this moment too, shall pass. Or as my grandmother used to sing, “Trouble don’t last always.” Like the planets, we too have completed this journey around the sun. The year is almost over. We have two vaccines. The people who walk in darkness have seen a great light. Yes, there is more work to do. To be sure, we are still in the midst of darkness. But when we look up we are reminded that the light of hope can lead us and a star can still brighten our way.

Look for Ways to Bring Light Wherever You Go

“Where there is hatred, let me sow love
….where there is darkness, light.”
– Saint Francis of Assisi

A preacher recently reminded me that there is a danger to darkness. I believe that the danger is that we may allow our vision to adjust so well to the darkness that we contract in hopelessness and fear. There is another way

In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus challenged his disciples saying, “You are the light of the world.” I have suggested in another post that this passage seems to contradict John 8:12. With its high Christology, the Gospel of John has Jesus declaring “I am the light of the world.” But in Matthew 5:14, we are told that we are the light of the world. In John, we are invited to accept the light; but in Matthew, we are called to be the light. Rather than contradicting each other, perhaps they are complementary. In experiencing the light of Christ, in seeking to connect with the Divine through prayer and meditation, for example, we are better equipped to be the light we are called to be.

In surrendering to a higher power, we allow our lives to be instruments, in the words of Saint Francis of Assisi. As instruments in the hands of the Divine, where there is hatred, we can sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; and even where there is darkness, light. This is awesome responsibility. If we are the light, then we are the ones we are waiting for. In times of national crisis, perhaps we should not ask where is God, but instead ask, “Where am I?” We are the ones who are called to walk with others through the darkness, to show compassion and empathy, to love one another, to seek justice for the oppressed, to protect our communities, and to serve those in need. By letting our light shine, we may very well be the ones to bring our nation out of this darkness.

The eyes reveal a simple truth: It is difficult to come in contact with darkness and not be changed. It is difficult to experience light and not be changed. 2020 has changed us. It has changed our lives, our families, our churches, our communities, our nation, and our world. But we have a choice of whether we change for the better. We can choose whether we become more compassionate, more loving, whether we care for the poor and work for justice. We can decide whether we will be the light that we are called to be, to light a candle in the darkness, and to sow, where there is darkness, light.

Stay safe and have a Merry Christmas.

Blessings,

Cynthia