Tag: writing

I Call Myself a Poet

Creative Living Poetry

I Call Myself a Poet

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I call myself a poet.

I call myself a poet in the way that my 7-year old daughter calls herself a doctor. She wears a lab coat with a real pink stethoscope around her neck while examining her patients (usually one of us) and “researching” in science books. She’s been planning ahead. When she was 5 years old, she asked if there will be recess in medical school and was more surprised than disappointed when we said no. She also asked if we could buy her an x-ray machine. We declined. She was more disappointed about that. Most of us call her actions play, but in a way, she is also calling those things that are not as though they are.

I call myself a poet even though I have not yet published a poem. I have only taken one graduate course in poetry. I don’t write nearly enough. The spoken word stage frightens me (which is odd since I’ve been preaching since age 19). And I’m hesitant to share my work. I call myself a poet because in my heart, I know that I am one. Whether reading, memorizing, reciting, dreaming, or writing, poetry has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and I know that it will be an important part of my life for years to come. Like my daughter, it is not merely who I want to become, but it is already who I am, already within me waiting to mature, grow, and ripen in its season.

Thus, when I decided that 2020 would be the year that I took this calling seriously, I immediately thought of Rainer Maria Rilke’s exhortation in his Letters to a Young Poet. Written in response to an aspiring poet who asks for Rilke’s feedback, rather than critique his poetry, Rilke advises,

“Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write…. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must”, then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.”

Rilke’s words have resonated with me at different times along my journey. They are a reminder to take seriously the “I must” areas of my life, whether love, family, or vocation. The words serve as a challenge for me to remember that some things don’t just happen. The guidance to “build your life” is an invitation to a daily and hourly commitment, a call to even our most indifferent hour to witness in some way to that which we must do.

 

This year, I looked within for the deep answer. I acknowledged that I must write. I felt that writing may be a matter of life or death — not necessarily in a dramatic way. Rather, it is a realization that we die a little inside each time we ignore the truth of who we are. To the poet, poetry is life.

But I am going a step further. This is also the year that I build my life in accordance with this necessity, not only for poetry writing but also for blogging and for my nonfiction writing project. Over the past month, I have been releasing those things that occupy too much space in my heart and mind. I am rearranging my life for this creative calling.

Therefore, on this last day of National Poetry Month, I am sharing my intention with you. The timing may be later in the month, and in life, for such a new declaration. But I embrace this second act knowing that life has its own wisdom and timing. Today is a great day to begin anew. Thus, I am committing to more poetry – reading more, learning more, writing more, and submitting more. Taking Rilke’s advice, I will try not to worry too much about the outcome – what other’s think – but I will focus on the process. I will write because I must.

 

Thank you for visiting my blog. For more of my journey, subscribe below and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @cjohnsonoliver. Click here to learn more about my nonfiction work in progress.

 

 

From Idea to Manuscript

From Idea to Manuscript

Come join us for this special event sponsored by the Alexandria Women of Color Writers Group. Two of our members, Cynthia Johnson-Oliver and Angeline Boulley (bios below) will present “From Idea to Manuscript” a workshop that will explore working through creative projects. In addition to the presentation there will be a Q&A and discussion. If you’re working through getting your written work finished and/or published come to the Beatley Library this Saturday for this exciting and informative workshop!

Feel free to bring a friend/fellow writers. Please indicate the number in your RSVP. SEE YOU SATURDAY!

(Our next meeting in two weeks will be at Cameron Cafe, as usual.)

-Cynthia Johnson-Oliver is writing a biography and producing a companion documentary film about her grandfather, Bishop Joseph A. Johnson, Jr., the first African American to graduate from Vanderbilt University. In 2013, she founded the Bishop Joseph Johnson History Project, a 501(c)3 organization, and has received grants from the Lilly Endowment via the Louisville Institute and from Vanderbilt University. An ordained Elder in the Christian Methodist Episcopal Church, she is currently on research sabbatical from church ministry. She holds degrees from Harvard and Yale and has studied creative writing at Johns Hopkins University. She has been a national speaker at churches and conferences and has written commentaries for Sojourners Magazine and the Virginia Advocate, along with numerous blog posts. She lives in Arlington, VA with her husband and two daughters.

-Angeline Boulley (Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians) is a writer who tells stories about her tribal community in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. She was selected for the 2019 We Need Diverse Books (WNDB) Mentorship Program, as an emerging Young Adult author. Angeline recently signed with an agent, Faye Bender of The Book Group. She is currently working on revisions for her debut YA novel, Firekeeper’s Daughter. She lives and works in the DC-metro area, where she is a federal programs director.

Try Again

Creative Living Spiritual Growth

Try Again

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By Barry haynes (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
By Barry haynes (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
There are moments that stick with you, moments that change your life. These moments are not necessarily major life events, though they can be. Sometimes extraordinary things happen in ordinary life circumstances.

When I was in college and seminary, it was quite customary for a fellow student to give me the audio tape of a great sermon (before CD’s were popular, if I must date myself). We aspired to become great preachers ourselves, and we delighted in, and often emulated the excellent preaching of our role models.

This happened once during the summer after my first year of seminary. On the outside things looked great: I was a Harvard graduate, in graduate school, with a great summer job, and driving my first car. The internal life was a different story. I had just experienced a difficult year of growing pains, a tough year in my first ministry position, and the early signs of health challenges to come. I was depleted, confused, and wondering if I was on the right path. I even considered not returning to seminary.

Then, the ordinary happened. A dear friend of mine loaned me her audio tapes from a recent women’s conference. On a Saturday morning, with a bowl of cereal in my hand, I pressed the play button.

The tapes contained many great sermons, one of which was delivered by Rev. Dr. Carolyn Ann Knight. It was titled “Try Again.” Her message was based on the familiar account, from the Gospel of Luke, of Jesus in the fishing boat with Simon Peter. Jesus, after being followed by crowds who want to hear the word of God, gets into the boat belonging to Simon Peter and teaches the crowds from the boat. Then, after Simon Peter’s ordinary night of fishing:

 

When [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” 5 Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.”6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. 7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. 8 But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” 9 For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken;10 and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” 11 When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him. (Luke 5:4-11)

It has been some time since I heard the sermon, but I remember that Dr. Knight eloquently preached about how life is filled with nights in which we have given all that we can and feel as though we have caught nothing. In the electric style that typifies African American preaching, she exhorted the congregation to “Try again!” She reminded that you can’t catch big fish in shallow water; you have to launch out into the deep. And when you come up short, try again!

I’m pretty sure that a little milk splattered as I tossed aside my cereal bowl and had a Holy Spirit moment in my subleased apartment. Dr. Knight’s words, though homiletically excellent, were much more than that. Spiritually, they were exactly what I needed to hear at that time in my life. I knew from then on what I would do that next year. I would try again.

But her sermon rang true not just that year. Seventeen years later, I still remember her words. I remembered them when a project did not work out. Try again. I recalled them as I adjusted to life with a chronic illness. Try again. I repeat those words in physical therapy. Try again. I remind myself of those words as I submit my poetry for publication. Try again.

Currently, I am launching out into the deep. I am researching and writing a book about my grandfather, Bishop Joseph A. Johnson, Jr., the first African American to graduate from Vanderbilt University. At times I am overwhelmed by the project. But most of the time I am excited. I believe in going after the big fish. I believe in both the challenges and the blessings of launching into deep water. Moreover, I believe that God is with me in the boat. And when I encounter obstacles along the way, I am prepared to try again.